January 15th, 2016
One may ask, if it wanders thru one thoughts, just what a bed and breakfast proprietor does, on the “off” times. (It does not seem to this one, that there is any, but I digress.) WHY ??? Cry the loyal readers WHY! My sentiments exactly. The temperatures and time are hurried, landing us in the middle of the month, with 30-40 degrees in variance of temps with in days. Up and down like a child’s toy of old, or my mood. Delirious and untamed is an understatement. Read on.
It is completely, of course, my fault. Lucy will agree. I have been given, treats not for MOI but for my four legged companion. Let me be clear, lots of them. I was generous with them, four different kinds, Lucy having the constitution of a goat. Generous, did I mention my lascivious dispensation of marrow bones, dental bones, liver and other assorted goodies? I did not.
No I did not listen, to the bowel sounds coming forth, from her abdomen, in fact, unheeded, truth be told, all the wile, giving Lucy not one, not two, but possibly three marrow bone goodies to get in the car, for no other reason than, I did. My usual thought processing gone, in the mists of menopause.
While walking the streets, the divine Miss L caught a neighbor who had come out to check on his cat, -29 degree weather. For this she was rewarded, with a package of dental bones to chew while we gossiped about the goings on the neighboorhood, once again disregarding good sense.
While walking the hound, on all other occasions, there seemed to be in hind sight, a slow down in the end production. To that end, production must be scooped if you follow, and I loyal companion do, believe me. Inn the same period of time, it was noticed she did not seem to be inn-taking her kibble. (Lost I was, not following or connecting the dots, or the ends in this case, at all.)
Therefore increased inn-taking by defrosting for her curried chicken soup. Loading her vitamins on her kibble, and as they say, away we went. This went happening for a couple of days, up to and including Mexican chicken which very prettily, black beans and yellow corn in a sea of diced tomatoes. One who has studied bowel function as closely as my family will now be aghast. I was gonzo again.
Friday the 13th and late that one night, Miss Lucy was snorting at my head. Snorting is dog short hand for “YOU HAD BETTER WAKE UP”. I slumbered, pleased, I had to say with myself that I was feeling human with all this sleep I was acquiring. Did I mention at this was at one o’clock in the morning, wanted to, and, did in fact ignored the heavy breathing, by my head, being an old spinster lady of a definite age. Thus, awoke later, much later, the breath sounds that accompanies an old dog beside the bed, absent. Foreshadowing, this was to my detriment. I leaped to my feet, straight UP wildly looking for the old girl. I having been on a morbidity watch for almost 24 months, come this April, let me remind you all, to go and find her.
What I found, never, ever, has she done this before, in all her unusual ways, (to this day she still does not do anything new, without a huge blow back) Well, this was malodorous, fetid and ill smelling, galactic quantities, I mean bouffant. Not so much pile, as is her regular, and typical range. No this was colossal, indefinite quantities, everywhere. Mostly on the carpets, which are light and white, or Oriental. These inn place to protect the hard wood floors from guest throwing luggage about. She was not done, and therefore neither was I. Sleepless in the big little city, we were. Thru the night. Every hour like clock work. This time however out of doors, trust me on this.
I have to say, I cursed, not the dog, but my most recent downsizing. Eyebrows raised, my readers, will and do, prognosticate & forebode. I had taken just recently to the local shelter, blankets and dog towels. Most of them, as Lucy has never to date really needed all the accumulated at the back door. (Forgetting as well that I use them to dry her when she is bathed as well) I do not have as a matter of principle, have paper towels, as I had all this back up toweling.
None the less, we cleaned, using city specified biodegradable poop bags, amoungst other things. The benediction was sprinkling copious amounts of baking powder. OFF we went soon in the morning to get a floor covering cleaner. It is made for I have to admit, a truncated adult male of outstanding durability. (Not what you are thinking either) I had to produce a lot of identification for the machine, driver license, credit card, and health card. This I am sure to pay for to get me to the hospital in an ambulance, they not covered under the provincial health care plan.The red machine, with tubing, in another fabric bag, rolled swiftly across the parking lot, too big for the trunk, lifted it into the back seat. Home again home again.
Several hours later, of mixing hot water, 28 day biodegradable cleaning solution, moving furniture, heaving the stumpy crimson strident machine across any horizontal surface that had carpet on it. Not concluded, lavation with a mop any other type of flooring. The original plan included upholstery and the third floor carpets. We could not move it to the third, it could not be done nor could we work up much enthusiasm for doing the upholstery either.
In betwixt and between, I went from meal to meal to celebrate, breakfast at a bistro, tea with the neighbors, lunch at restaurant, the last repast of the day at a Chinese buffet. I have to say after Miss L last walk were she was STILL able to do her business, it was not difficult to sleep. Exhausted and chockablock full of calories, an unbeatable combination. She was up and so was instantly whether she needed to go out or not. All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. Erma Bombeck
Moi and Lucy P